


Flowers Bloom Until They Rot

by maguuma_blues



Series: one step at a time (aka melancholy Jaskier.) [2]
Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, M/M, References to Depression, you ever just take a whole day to notice a tag is missing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:14:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22563841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maguuma_blues/pseuds/maguuma_blues
Summary: There are days where a deep malaise sinks down into Jaskier’s bones, latching on and threatening to pull him under its deep and endless current. There are days where getting up seems like an impossible chore, where he wants nothing more than to close his eyes, shut out the world, and stay limper than a log. There are a few times where Geralt entertains this, when he holds onto Jaskier through the brunt of it until it passes.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: one step at a time (aka melancholy Jaskier.) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1620511
Comments: 20
Kudos: 377





	Flowers Bloom Until They Rot

**Author's Note:**

> yes, I blatantly stole the title from a song. anyone know which one it's from ?

There are days where a deep malaise sinks down into Jaskier’s bones, latching on and threatening to pull him under its deep and endless current. There are days where getting up seems like an impossible chore, where he wants nothing more than to close his eyes, shut out the world, and stay limper than a log. There are a few times where Geralt entertains this, when he holds onto Jaskier through the brunt of it until it passes. 

More often than not, however, Geralt will gently rouse him and force him to get moving. He’ll make him stretch, lead him to Roach, and from there they start a new day together, one step at a time. Neither of them can afford to be stagnant for too long, Jaskier knows this as well as he knows anything, but his melancholy just won’t fade away. 

Currently, the sun is making its slow rise at the edge of the sky, the last traces of indigo velvet fading away and Geralt is awake. Granted, so is Jaskier. He can hear the witcher moving about their makeshift camp, packing their things, letting the bard have a few more moments lying still before they have to leave. The very thought of moving makes Jaskier’s chest tighten, and he releases a deep sigh in hopes to alleviate some of his discomfort. There’s no point to it. 

Geralt places a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Time to go, Jaskier.” 

“Already?” And if his voice is a bit small, it’s something to die between the two of them.

“Yes.” The witcher is firm, but not unkind. “Time to get up.” 

“And here I had hoped we could have a bit of a lie-in today, ” Jaskier tries. 

“Not in the middle of the forest. C’mon.” Geralt holds out a hand for him. “Time to go.” he repeats.

Jaskier hesitates, a few moments of palpable tension, before he takes his hand. Geralt helps him up, and before he can pull his hand away, Jaskier gently tugs him into an embrace. “Wait.” he implores. _“Please .”_

“Hm…” Geralt hums. He humors the bard, wrapping his arms around him, and Jaskier can feel the ache in his chest loosen, a shaky breath leaving him. “What’s bothering you?” 

“I’m not entirely sure.” Jaskier answers truthfully. “I just feel so _blue,_ Geralt. Like I’m stuck forever in the doldrums with no hope of escape.” 

“Letting yourself rot won’t help.” 

_Sometimes it feels harder to do anything else but let myself._ “I know.” he says instead.

Geralt grunts, resting his chin on the top of Jaskier’s head. “I won’t let you.” 

_I wish you would._ This also goes unsaid, and Jaskier huffs out a small laugh. “I suppose if our situations were reversed, I wouldn’t let you either.” 

Eventually Geralt pulls away, much to Jaskier’s dismay, though his touch lingers. “Time to go.” he says again. 

“Third time’s a charm, I suppose.” 

“Mm.” The witcher goes to where Roach is tied to a tree, and Jaskier sluggishly packs up the rest of his bedding. 

* * *

They’ve been walking for quite awhile, the nearest backwater town not too far off in the distance. Geralt is walking beside Jaskier, off of Roach for once, keeping the bard’s pace. Maybe it should make him feel guilty, but Jaskier merely feels comforted instead, even if it’s fairly quiet. One step at a time. 

Geralt breaks the silence after a few moments. “You’ve been quiet.” 

“Hm? Oh, yes, I suppose I have been… rather quiet lately. That’s probably a small comfort to you,” Jaskier laughs, and it’s more of a solemn sound than it should be. 

“It’s not.” Geralt says gruffly. 

“Well that sounded painful to admit.” And this is easy for him, putting on a mask and hiding his hurt. It’s easier to avoid talking about it. This morning was already too much.

 _“J_ _askier_.” Geralt stops, and Roach snorts derisively. 

“I– yes, _Geralt?”_ Jaskier mimics his tone of voice. “Why are we stopping –” 

“You’re not telling me something. Do you need a healer? What is it?” 

“I– all of this because I’ve been quiet for a few days?” 

“You’ve told me it’s because you don’t feel… right.” 

“Well, I know I said it more eloquently than that, but I appreciate the attempt –”

“It’s been weeks, nothing has changed for the better.” There’s a layer of hurt under the witcher’s words, if you know what to look for. “Do you not trust me?” 

_“Geralt.”_ Jaskier admonishes. “I trust you with my very _life.”_

“Then talk to me.” 

“I…” the bard sighs. “I don’t want you to worry about it. Honestly, Geralt, I don’t think it’s… Something a healer can fix.” 

“Are you ill?” 

“No… No, I don’t think I’m ill. I feel fine, physically. My chest will hurt from time to time, but nothing comes of it –” 

_“Jaskier –”_

“No, you wanted me to talk, I’m talking. Save your exasperated exclamations of my name for after the fact, thank you.” Jaskier draws in a deep breath. “I–I don’t know what’s wrong with me, really, Geralt. If I did, I would tell you. It’s not that I don’t trust you with this, there are just some things that are…” _better left unsaid._ “…hard to say. I trust you with my life, I just don’t want to…” _become more of a burden._ “… add onto any more of your troubles.”

“You won’t.” Geralt says firmly. 

“Well, how am I supposed to know that? That’s not information freely given, my dear witcher.” 

“I just told you.” 

Jaskier sighs. “It’s not… It’s not that simple, I’m afraid.” 

“Yes, it is.” 

_“ No,_ it’s not. What do I do, Geralt, if this becomes a daily thing? If suddenly you _leave_ me behind because I can’t bear to pull myself out of bed in the morning? If suddenly we’re coming up short because singing has lost so much of its luster to me? _Singing,_ Geralt.” his voice breaks on the word. “I don’t know what’s wrong. I don’t know why I feel this way. I don’t know what to do.” 

By now Geralt has come closer to him, seemingly closing the distance with every other word. And now that Jaskier has started, he can’t seem to stop. 

“I’ll slow you down, more than I already do. You’ll get tired of it. I suspect you’re already tired of it,” a broken laugh escapes him. 

“I’m not.” Is all Geralt says, and he’s pulling him into an embrace, much like Jaskier did that morning. “I’m not tired of it or you. I’ll take you to a healer.”

“What could a healer do?” Jaskier asks incredulously. He pulls away to look at Geralt. 

“Mm.” Geralt grunts. “A healer could reassure me that you’re not dying. That this isn’t a detriment to your health.” A hand comes up to cup Jaskier’s cheek, thumb stroking lightly. “But you being this silent? It’s unnatural. If you don’t know what’s wrong, a healer might.” 

“I –” 

“We’ll figure it out, Jaskier. Together. I won’t let you let yourself rot.” 

“You might not have a choice.” 

“There’s _always_ a choice.” 

Jaskier manages a sad smile. “I love you,” he says. “Oh, but I love you dearly, witcher.” 

Geralt hums, leaning down to press his forehead against Jaskier’s. “We’ll figure this out. One step at a time.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. :)


End file.
